Stellaride Episode Inserts - Season 7
by RT219
Summary: Little stories here and there to add more to the story on the screen
1. Episode 1

Season 7 Episode 1

A Closer Eye

Kelly swung his legs over the edge of the bed and listened to the rapid fall of water in the shower and the soft sounds of happy humming reached his ears.

Tossing back the covers, he stood up and crossed the room until he stood in the bathroom doorway.

The steam on the sides of the shower walls wasn't heavy enough to block his view completely, but it wasn't just Stella's amazing body that he liked, it was the way she moved. And in the shower, under all of that pulsing water, every step of hers looked like a dance.

It was… stunning.

And suddenly he didn't want to be on the outside looking in.

"Hey, babe?"

"Hmm?" She lifted an arm and moved the bath-scrubber up and down her arm, giving it a thorough scrub. "What's up?"

A slow indrawn breath told him she was using coconut again. He was going to take some serious flack from the guys, but…

"I was wondering if you wanted to share the shower?" He grinned as she turned toward him, lowering the scrubber as she went.

"Uhhh…"

He huffed. "It's not that big of a decision, Stella. It'll save water. Right?"

"Save water?" Her laughter was a short cough of sound. "If you come in here it'll take twice as long, and I'll be late to the House."

That caught his attention. "Why would you be late?"

The shower door cracked open and he saw her peek out. "I told you last night-"

"I don't remember that-"

"Because," she rolled her eyes at him, "you were trying to distract me at the time."

"Distract you?" He lifted his arm and leaned it against the doorframe by his head. "Is that what I was doing?"

"Well, it's the PG version, but if you like I could explain it in detail, but that would be NSFW for most folks." She closed the shower door. And reached for the bath soap. "I told you I had to stop by Med before shift."

That caught him unawares with a twist in his gut. "Why Med? You okay?"

"Sure, sure," he could hear her laughter. "I just need to update some of my paperwork. I thought I turned it in last year, but someone in records called and said it was missing."

The water turned off and Stella grabbed her towel off of the top of the shower wall and bent over to dry her legs.

"Which papers are you missing?" He was already wondering if he'd turned in the paperwork. He didn't remember the last time he'd turned in anything like that.

Standing up, she wrapped the towel around her body and tucked it in at the top. Opening the door, she stepped out and took in the view from head to toe.

"Mornings with you look _good_ , Severide." With a long sigh she walked past him and gave him a nice, solid, smack on his backside. "I can't believe I'm walking away from you right now."

He turned and watched her stop beside the bed, the diffused sunlight coming through the curtains cast a golden light across her skin as untucked her towel.

"You can get back in the shower. We can drop your papers off before next shift."

He watched in rapt fascination as she pulled her clothing on, piece by sexy piece. She didn't wear anything fancy under her work clothes, but anything against her skin was sexy… that is until he took it off and then it looked better on the floor.

She looked up and met his eyes a moment later, her dark eyes sparking with laughter. "I thought you were going to shower."

"Sure," he grinned right back at her, taking a bit of the edge off, "in a minute. I'm enjoying the show."

Stella picked up her brush. "Get in the shower. If you're quick enough, I'll give you a decent kiss before I leave."

He took a few steps back, watching her eyes move over him as he went. "If I'm quick enough," he parroted back, "maybe you'll give a not-so-decent kiss."

Stella laughed, a full-throated peel of joy. "Keep dreaming, Severide. Get in the shower."

A long sigh later, he clicked the door closed behind him. He reached out to turn on the water and as the water spurted out of the shower head, he called out to her again. "Hey, what paper was it? You didn't tell me."

"Oh," he heard a bit of distraction in her tone, but the heated rush of water was doing its work on his tired body, "my Emergency Contact paperwork and Living Will."

"What?" He turned and lifted a hand to wipe off the steam on the glass. He couldn't see her near the bed. "Stella? What did you say?"

She popped her head into the open doorway. "Sorry, I've got to run, it's later than I thought. You better get a move on, Lieutenant. The Chief will want to talk to you and Casey before the morning meeting. Later!"

"Stella, wait." He reached out a hand to turn off the water and snatched up his towel from the top of the shower wall, but by the time he stepped into the main room of her apartment, she was gone.


	2. Crossover Episode - Insert 1

_Chicago Fire – Season 7 Episode 2 – Chicago Med – Episode 2_

 _1st Episode insert - set after Chicago Med Episode 2_

The door behind him opened up, and a soft knock reached his ears. "Kelly?"

Standing up from his chair, Kelly turned toward the door. "Chief."

Boden looked past him at Stella. "Is she awake?"

"No." Kelly shook his head. "Stella fell asleep a little while ago. She was fighting it."

Stepping inside the room he let the door swing closed behind him as he made his way to Severide's side. "She's a fighter in every aspect of her life. This wouldn't be any different."

"Yeah," the word seemed to fall from Kelly's lips, heavy and dull. "She's the best."

"Stella's dedication to her job," the chief added on, "is only second to her love for everyone on the second shift."

Kelly nodded and set his hand over hers, willing some heat into her skin. She felt too cold to his touch. He was used to her heat pressed up against him in bed. Alone, she had lost some of her natural warmth. He didn't like it one bit.

"I heard what you said to Herrmann at Med."

Kelly felt his throat tighten. "I was out of line."

"You were upset. Herrmann knows it. So does everyone else." He let that sink in. "I'm more concerned about you."

Kelly's eyes were full of confusion when they looked at the Chief. "I'm not the one laid up in bed, missing part of a lung."

"But you took guilt onto your shoulders. You don't-"

"Stella ran out of air to save me."

"And she did it, knowing what could happen. It was her choice, Kelly. She wanted you to survive."

"And what about what I want," his words cleared his mouth before he could stop them. "Did she think what it would do to me if she died? If I knew that she'd put herself into that situation to save me, if she left me here, missing her?"

"You're angry."

He nodded. "Livid. Pissed off." He swallowed again, but his throat was still tight. "She should have said something. She should have gone back down to change out her air. She should have-"

"I'm sure she's well aware of what she should do, Kelly, but-"

"The last thing she said to me… was to tell me 'not to do something stupid.'"

Kelly heard Boden's chuff of laughter and wanted to be angry. He couldn't. Because, even as worried as he was, he heard the unfortunate truth in her words. "She's always looked out for me."

"And you?"

He shook his head. "I've never questioned her skills."

Boden's laughter again, turned his head. "And you're still not."

"No," Kelly sighed, "I'm not. Stella knows her stuff. She knows it too well."

A moment of silence gave way to Kelly's own scratch of laughter, directed at himself. "She made a choice."

Boden set his hand on Kelly's shoulder. "You see it. You know she made that choice with her eyes wide open."

"She made the choice to protect me. To save me. She didn't ask what I wanted. If she had, I would have told her to go. To get down those stairs and get another air tank. A second line was on its way up and she could have gone. She could have saved herself and-"

"And you made a choice, Kelly." Boden's voice was low and soft, but it cut through Kelly's agitation. "In the middle of a fire, we all make decisions in a moment. We're trained as firefighters, over and over we're taught one way to do things, but in the middle of the fire, the flames, the heat, the smoke, we make decisions that are sometimes the complete opposite of what we're taught because under the training, we're human.

"Stella made the decision to stick with Herrmann and try to clear the hallway, because she wanted to save you. You made the decision to save that boy, running right onto the floor where the fire was about to engulf his apartment. Neither decision had a thing to do with training, but if both of you were put in the same position over again, I would bet my life that both of you would make the same decision… because that is who you are."

"I can't," Kelly sputtered out the words, "I still can't believe what she did." He turned his eyes toward the bed, softly lit by the fluorescent lights pointed against the wall. Stella looked too pale. She looked too still laying in the hospital bed, connected to too many leads and tubes.

She was a force of nature, filled with energy and life. It hurt him, deep down in his bones, to see her sleeping so still in the bed. All he wanted to do was climb in beside her and hold her close, feel the warmth of her skin against his.

"I don't think I'm going to get any sleep tonight."

Kelly felt the Chief's hand touch his shoulder.

"I'm afraid," he swallowed against the knot in his throat, knowing there wasn't a chance that he'd be able to move it, "that if I close my eyes and open them again-"

He couldn't say the words. He just couldn't.

How could he chance fate?

What if he said the words and they came true?

He'd never forgive himself.

But still, his mind worked against him, whispering the words in his head since he wasn't going to say them.

 _"…that if I close my eyes and open them again… she'll be dead. We wouldn't have gotten to her in time. I'd lose everything in a few stupid minutes."_

But Chief Boden was right. He would have gone after the boy. Stella would have stayed for him.

He just had to make sure that he managed things better. They'd train more. Get more information. He might not be able to change who he was… who Stella was… but maybe he could have more control over the situation next time. He had to be better… because he wasn't going to lose Stella. Not like this."

When he turned to look at the Chief, he found that part of the room empty, the door behind him clicking closed softly.

Sitting back down in his chair beside her bed, Kelly took her hand in his and leaned down to press a line of kisses across each of her fingers, taking great care with the fourth. When he finished, he lifted her hand just a bit higher to rest his cheek against the back of her hand.

"Baby," his voice broke on the simple word, "Stella." A tear slipped free and slid down to pool against her skin. "You've got to get better. Fast. I just can't stand to see you in here."

She remained asleep, the soft pulse of the monitors rode his nerves and pushed fear through his veins.

"I want to climb in beside you, Stella. Wrap you in my arms so you know that I'm here. You know that I'm not letting you go. So you know that I can't do this without you."

He gasped in a breath, a soft sob shook his shoulders. "Don't you leave me, Stella. Don't you ever leave me. I can't do this… not without you there. I need to know that you're the one I come home to… that you're just a few feet away when we're at Fifty-One. I don't know when it happened, Baby, but you're so tied so tight to me I don't think there's a me without you." His voice broke and his throat closed up, he was barely able to draw a breath as the events of the day closed in on him like a slab of concrete.

Kelly laid his head on the bed beside her, his hand covering hers, struggling to breathe. One of his few coherent thoughts asked him if this was how she felt in that moment, unable to fill her lungs with clean air.

The tears kept coming.

But even through the storm of his own fear and grief, he could still hear.

Her voice.

Calling to him from what seemed like miles away.

"Hey, hey…" her voice was soft, coaxing him to turn toward it, "Kelly, stop… please."

He turned, placing his other cheek on the mattress. That was when he felt her fingers brush lightly over his hair.

"I can't stand to see you hurting."

"Me?" The words forced themselves from his lungs.

"I heard you crying, Kelly. When you're hurt… it kills me."

The tears came again.

"I wish-"

He looked up to meet her eyes. "What, baby? What do you want?"

She offered him a soft smile. "I want you beside me, Kelly. I want your arms around me. I want to feel your breath on my cheek, your lips on my neck." She gasped in a breath and her smile faltered. "When I close my eyes… all I see… is the lights going out. The fire all around me until I hit the floor and then nothing. I'm so sorry I couldn't get to you in time, that I-"

"Hey… hey," he stood up from the chair and leaned over the edge of the bed and smoothed her hair back from her face, "you did everything you could. I just can't help who I am."

A hint of a smile touched her lips. "Incredibly hot and frustrating?"

He answered her smile with one of his own. "That too, but you know what I mean."

She gave the tiniest of nods and her hand reached up to close around his forearm. "I do, Kelly. Just like I can't help who I am. And right now-"

"Tell me, Stella. Tell me what you need."

She shook her head and her mouth turned down in a melancholy smile. "I want you here beside me, like we are at home." She squeezed her eyes closed, but her tears still leaked out, tracing soft silver lines down her cheeks in the ambient lighting.

"Just hold on, baby. I'll be right back."

Stella relaxed at the promise in his voice and when she heard the door swing open again, she opened her eyes to see what was happening.

A second bed was wheeled into the room, Kelly at one end and April at the other. They lined it up parallel to hers and Kelly removed his radio and his boots, dropping them onto his chair.

April gave Stella a wink before she left the room, disappearing behind the door as it swung shut. When he was back on his feet, Kelly lowered the railings between their beds at both the head and the foot before he climbed up onto the bed beside hers.

"I can't hold you in my arms, not with your healing incision, but I can lie here beside you all night long. I can hold your hand." He joined their closest hands, twining their fingers together as he lifted his other hand to trail the backs of his fingers against her cheek. "And I be here every time you open your eyes, so you know that you made it out of the nightmare, Stella."

Her eyes were heavy, and he knew that she was still under the influence of the pain killers they were giving her.

"That's okay, baby… go to sleep. You need the rest."

"But," she tried to keep her eyes open, "I want-"

"I'm not going anywhere, Stella. When you wake up again… I'm going to be here…" he squeezed her hand. "Go to sleep."

And he kept his promise.

When she opened her eyes several hours later, Kelly was still there beside her, watching over her with such tender care she didn't worry about the nightmares, not anymore.


	3. Crossover Episode - Insert 2

Season 7 Episode 2 Crossover

Stella's eyes flickered open when she heard the door swing in and the sounds of the hallway followed. Her features wrinkled a bit. "Kelly, is that you?"

A soft chuckle was her first answer. "Sorry, Stella… just me."

She smiled before she opened her eyes. "Doctor Rhodes." She saw him walk up to the side of her bed. "It's good to see you."

He set a hand on the railing of her hospital bed and the other on the mattress nearest to her. "It's good to be seen by you, Stella. You really had us on the tips of our toes earlier."

She winced. "Sorry. Not my plan for the day."

Connor grinned. "You mean yesterday?"

Stella leaned back and looked around the room. "Yesterday?"

"You've been sleeping a lot." He held up his hands in surrender. "That's a good thing, really. You lost quite a bit of blood and gave your friends a scare they'll never forget, but I'm sure by tomorrow you'll be well on your way to running the world again."

Her expression told him how full of it she thought he was. "April says I owe everything to you."

"They say it takes a village to raise a child, but to save a firefighter," he leaned a little closer, "it takes a whole bunch of soot-covered firefighters, a couple of EMTs, one dedicated nurse and a boyfriend who doesn't let a few security guards keep him on the sidelines."

Stella was taking it all in stride until she heard boyfriend. "What happened to Kelly?" When Connor didn't answer her immediately, Stella started to roll to her side on the bed, reaching for the railing. Connor stilled her movements with a soft touch and helped her back into a restful position on the bed.

"Kelly's fine, Stella. What I'm talking about happened before the surgery."

She settled back to listen.

"We were all set to take your lung and stop the bleed, but Kelly wasn't going to let us. I think April's still mad at Ethan for calling security and having Kelly moved outside."

"Why," she wondered, "why didn't you listen to him?"

"Well," he gave her a shrug, "we couldn't get a hold of your family. In the absence of their decision, we had to make the decision we thought was best for you. April had a hand in changing my mind. She got some of your truck coworkers to stage an intervention for me."

Stella's smile was immediate. "They can be a handful, but they're my family, Dr. Rhodes. I'm an orphan. Sure, I have extended family somewhere, but the people who count… the ones that know me best… well, you met them." She frowned and lifted a hand to her temple to ease the ache. "I don't understand… I turned in the papers."

Connor moved in closer. "What papers?"

"My authorization papers. I just turned in a new set the other week. Kelly," she sighed and blinked at the lights that hurt her eyes, "he's my emergency contact… he's authorized to make decisions."

"It wasn't in your records, Stella. I'm sorry."

She blinked at him and waved her hand in his direction. "It's okay, Dr. Rhodes, it all worked out, but I'm really tired."

"Sure," h e leaned in for a closer look and then backed up toward the door, "you get some rest. I want you back on your feet in no time."

Her hands gently gathered the blanket closer to her chin. "Sure, Doc. Whatever you say."

She was asleep moments later.

#

When Kelly returned to Med, Stella was out like a light. He had a few moments of concern before Maggie stepped up behind him.

"Hey, what's with the look, Kelly?"

"All of this sleeping, it's good, right? It just means she's getting better."

Maggie set her hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "You're right. She's healing up. At this point, the more sleep she has, the better."

Kelly nodded. "Any idea when I can take her home?"

He heard her soft laughter and turned.

"You two living together?"

Shaking his head, Kelly sighed. "Not at the moment, but I'm going to try to take care of her as much as she'll let me." He bit into his bottom lip and shook his head. "I came so close to losing her, all because of a piece of paper."

Maggie cleared her throat. "That's actually why I'm here, Kelly. After Doctor Rhodes spoke with Stella earlier, he talked to me. The two of us went to speak with Sharon Goodwin after I found the paperwork."

Kelly turned and met Maggie's sympathetic smile with confusion. "What's up?"

Opening the file folder in her arms she took out the top packet and handed it to him. "I wanted to show this to you. It's Stella's most recent paperwork for her file at Med."

He read over the title on the top of the document. "She told me she had to drop off some papers here the other day. I didn't know what exactly she was doing, but-"

"Here," Maggie pointed out the bottom third of the paper, "Emergency Contact & Medical Power of Attorney. Stella had you listed as her representative, but somehow the document was filed in the adjacent folder and scanned into those records as well."

Kelly shook his head and handed the papers back to Maggie. "So that whole thing with Dr. Choi?"

Maggie nodded. "Shouldn't have happened. You were supposed to make the decision for her."

He felt the air was knocked out of his lungs and as he stepped back, Maggie took his arm and helped him find a seat on the foot of Stella's bed. "I don't understand."

"Neither do we, Kelly, but we're going to find out. Dr. Goodman is ready anytime that you and Stella want to talk about this. Something happened in our records department and we'll figure it out.. but we want you and Stella to know that we take this seriously."

"Kelly?"

He startled at the sound of Stella's voice and was up on his feet in the next second. Maggie walked with him toward the side of the bed, but Kelly turned to look at her. "Do you mind… could we have some privacy, please?"

Maggie's expression didn't change, she quietly left the room and Kelly settled on the bed beside Stella.

"Hey, babe."

She smiled and lifted a hand to settle on his arm. "Hey, you… what's going on?"

"Nothing to worry about. You've got a big job ahead of you."

"What's that?" She smiled as he covered her hand with his and lifted it up to his lips, pressing a kiss on her fingertips one by one.

"Get well enough to get kicked out of here. I'm looking forward to giving you sponge baths as much as you'll let me."

"Sponge baths, huh?" Her smile only grew. "I like the sound of that."

"I'm going to take such good care of you, Stella."

She snuggled into the bed on her side, off of her incision. "I really like the sound of that."

"Good, because I'm going to show you how much you mean to me."

"Oh good," she sighed, "and I'll show you right back."

He reached out a hand, brushing her hair back from her face. "You already do that, baby… you already do that."

"Oh good," she used their joined hands to bring him closer, "I don't want to lose you."

Tears gathered on his lashes and he swiped them away with his free hand. "I can't lose you," he whispered back to her, but he didn't think she heard him. Her eyelids were sliding closed. His amazing woman was falling asleep again and he was happy to see it. She needed the rest and he needed to think through a lot of things.

"I need you in my life, Stella. So damn much."


	4. Pre Episode 3

*this is the third try to get a story I liked... so I hope you'll like it too... set before Episode 3*

PRE Season 7 Ep 3

"Hey," Kelly reached out a hand and touched Stella's shoulder.

Her eyes snapped open and fixed on him. "Am I keeping you awake?"

His concern eased a little. "Stop worry about me, woman. I'm trying to check on you."

She covered his hand with hers. "I'm always worrying about you, Kelly. I l- you need your sleep. You have to go to work tomorrow morning. All I have to do is lay around for a bit and then go to PT and one last check up with the doctor…"

"Then tell me what's bothering you," he moved a little closer on the bed, keeping his eyes on hers. "You've been mumbling and moving around all night. Is it the incision? You want me to get you some of your pain medication?"

Her soft laughter eased some of his worry. "I'm not in pain, Kelly. Really. I'm fine."

Even in the dark of the room with only a hesitant glow of the moon coming through the window he could she that wasn't the case.

"If it's not pain, then tell me, what's wrong?"

She closed her eyes and let out a breath. "I'm ready to go back."

"And, baby, I'm so happy to have you come back. Having to leave you alone while I'm at the House has been driving me crazy."

She smiled and touched the side of his face. "Cindy's been great to come and check on me and Brett's helped a lot. Not to mention the guys stopping in once in awhile to tease me mercilessly to get back on the horse. It's just…"

Stella squeezed her eyes shut and went silent beside him.

"Baby?" Severide drew closer and pressed a kiss to her forehead before he reached his arm around and set his open palm on her lower back, holding her as he inched closer. "You don't have to talk about it. Not if you need time."

"Sometimes," she gasped in a breath, "sometimes I'm back in that building. I'm on my way down the stairs with Herrmann and then I hear you over the radio. You've got a little boy. Thirty-seven can't keep going with the hose to cover. But you're in that fire, Kelly. You're doing exactly what makes you the amazing firefighter you are." Her eyes flickered open and she stared back at him with tears glistening on her lashes. "And I wasn't going to leave that building unless I knew I you were safe."

"Stella-"

"I don't think I can help it, Kelly. You're my guy. You're the one I lean on when I need it. You're the one who makes me smile when no one else can. The thought of leaving you behind in that building when I could help… yeah, that wasn't going to happen."

He fanned his fingers over her lower back, mindful of the healing scar tissue just a few inches away. Kelly let out his first easy breath when she hooked her foot around his ankle.

"I would do it again in an instant. I know that as sure as I know how much you mean to me, but I'm just worried… am I going to walk into a fire and freeze up."

"Stella, that's not-"

"Don't, Kelly. Don't try to make this easier for me, because it's not. You told Dr. Rhodes that all I care about is being a firefighter, but that's a lie. And maybe you didn't know the truth, but it's a lie all the same."

He reached out and touched his hand to her cheek and held it there as she lowered her head back onto her pillow, nuzzling into his palm. "Why is it a lie, Stella? What don't I know?"

She closed her eyes for a moment and then opened them again. "You're a dork sometimes, you know? You're crazy sexy, but you're still a dork. It's you, Kelly. Nothing compares to you in my life. If it was a choice between giving up firefighting and knowing you're alive… it's not going to be firefighting.

"So I'm going to fight these nightmares, Kelly. I'm going to stare straight into the thing I fear in the dark, because I know if I'm not on Truck… If I'm not backing you up and something happens to you, I'd never forgive myself."

Kelly let the weight of her words fall over him and when she edged closer, wrapping her arm around his middle and laying her thigh over his legs he welcomed her warmth and her touch, because it's all he wanted.

"You're not alone in this, Stella. When I heard you were down, I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. Carrying you down those stairs, all I could do was beg and pray that you'd make it. Every single step meant I was closer to get you help, but once we were there I was helpless.

"You were so still, and I couldn't do anything more than stand there on the edge, yank off your coat, open your shirt, and watch as Brett tried to keep you with us. With me. I don't know how many bargains I made with God, but I'm good for every single one of them, because you're here. You're alive.

"So, if you're afraid, know you've got me on your side. If you need a minute. If you need a hand. Whatever you need, baby. I'm going to be there giving it to you."

She moved closer and he met her halfway, pressing his lips tenderly against hers.

He felt her shiver against him and he pulled her closer, drawing her against him, trying to let her know she was protected, cherished.

Kelly pulled back slightly when he felt her lips moving against his, speaking in a mumble against his kiss. "What is it?"

"When I close my eyes like this?"

"Yeah?" He touched her lips with another kiss and leaned back to listen.

"If you're holding me," she sighed and tilted her face up toward his for another, "I'm not afraid of the dark."

He felt her fingers press against his back, nudging him closer. He didn't want to wait another second. He closed the distance and gave her something to hold onto.


	5. Episode 4 - (placeholder)

I'm leaving space here for an Insert of Episode Four when Tyler came to visit... I'm not sure where to go from there.. but when I put it together.. this is where it will go.


	6. Episode 5

Severide winced inwardly. It bothered him that Stella was almost always the first one to say the words "I love you." Turning, he looked at the empty doorway where she'd walked out to head back to the floor. It still bothered him that she was living at Herrmann's. Any given week he'd spend more of their nights off at her place rather than his own.

And Stella's room at the apartment felt too damn empty to him so he never went in there. It was likely housing a huge spiderweb by now. There was no sense to go in there, it only drove home the fact that she wasn't there.

Hell, she'd gone back to Herrmann's when she was released from the hospital.

He'd driven her there, unwilling to let her call a cab or Lyft, whatever she was thinking of. He wanted to be there to help her up the stairs.

Help she didn't need.

She truly was Wonder Woman to him. Nothing kept Stella Kidd down.

Except…

He leaned against the wall just inside the locker room and shook his head as the memories poured over him.

Late that first night, after the Herrmann kids had pestered her with a ton of questions and the girls had given her a bunch of hugs and kisses, He'd walked Stella upstairs, this time she didn't even stop to argue when he took her arm and made sure she kept her balance on the way up the stairs.

She'd opened the door and made her way across the room, stopping at the side of the bed, smoothing her fingertips across the blanket, she took in a long drawn out breath. "Thank you, Kelly."

He moved closer, curious about the odd tone in her voice.

"I don't know if I've thanked you for what you did."

He tried to lighten the mood. Yeah, that's right. HE tried to lighten the mood. "Get myself thrown out of Med?"

She turned over her shoulder and looked at him. "Standing up for me."

Kelly stepped up behind her and stopped short. He couldn't just wrap his arms around her and pull her gently back against him. Her incision was healing well, but it was still healing.

"I know how much firefighting means to you."

She smiled, a soft turn up at the corners of her mouth. "Not as much as you think it does."

"It's everything to you, Stella."

She turned, putting her back to the bed, standing against it as she looked at him. "Do you really think that, Kelly?"

He shook his head and then contradicted himself. "I know how dedicated you are to the job. To the people at the house."

"And to you, Kelly, you have to know how I feel."

He froze, just a little. He wanted to know.

He hoped that he knew.

But with Stella, he was always waiting for the other shoe to fall. The other women… they'd told him things.. but they'd done things to turn their words into lies.

Stella wasn't like that. Stella was up front with him. Stella told him off when she felt she needed to. But he was afraid to say the things that would make it real. That would put his heart out there on the line… give her the power to crush him.

And she could. Because no one else had gotten to him deep down inside of him.

No one else had wound themselves so deeply into his life that if he lost them…

If he lost her.

He'd be lost too.

Completely gone.

But wasn't that just being a coward?

He'd seen Benny be one for so long he hadn't really questioned if that was just the way he was, or maybe it was his destiny by genetics.

And yet, when he'd heard Herrmann's voice. "Kidd is down."

Kelly didn't hesitate. He ran right back upstairs and into the fire to get her. He'd carried her down and put her in Brett's hands. He'd ridden in the ambulance and let Ethan take over her care.

He'd stood outside of the examination bay, helpless to do anything but find an outlet for his frustration, all trying to mask the blind and utter panic he felt inside.

He was one moment away from running for hours, but all he could think about was Stella. What if she came to and needed him? What if something happened and she was scared?

And maybe it was time for him to conquer one more obstacle to being happy. To letting himself not just hope for a future, but to reach for it. Take it in his hands and hold on.

"Kelly?"

He felt her voice like a caress and he wanted to return the favor. Soothing her aches and worries like she always did for him.

Kelly reached out a hand and she took it almost instantly.

He did the same with his other hand and when he held them both, she gave him a sweet smile.

"I think I know how you feel about me, Stella, you've shown me over and over, but I don't think you've seen enough of that from me, baby. You give me so much more than I can ever repay you for, but I know that's not why you do it.

"You scared me, Stella. Being around you scares me. I look at you and I want things that I never thought I could have and that's why I felt like I needed to be careful around you.

"It's like standing at the edge of a whirlpool, knowing that if I get too close there's no going back and that's not easy for me. Benny always taught me to look for a way out so you don't get trapped, but I'm not that man anymore. I hope I'm not.

"But I am a man who knows how easily you could be taken from me. What happened in that fire had nothing to do with my past or the stupid things I've done. What happened in the fire is the nature of the beast. How easily things can go south while we're trying to do the best we can.

"So I'm going to tell you something I should have said a while ago. Even before that fire when you were almost shot. I should have told you the truth."

He leaned forward and held still when their lips were less than an inch apart, and his heart was pounding so loud in his chest that he as sure she could hear it.

He could certainly feel the warmth of her skin in his hands and knew how her lips would taste when he finally got that close.

But he also needed to give her the words that she deserved to hear, the words that he wanted to give her so that she didn't have to question his feelings.

"I love you, Stella." He listened to the silence between them and yet the floor under his feet didn't drop away. No lightning came out of the sky to kill them and ruin the moment. "I've loved you for so long, baby. I-"

She nibbled the words right off of his lips, and the way she pressed herself against him, her lithe grace and gorgeous curves left no question to her feelings, but just as he set his hands on her hips to hold her close she pulled back just long enough to whisper, "I love you too, Kelly… not that it's a secret, but I love you and-"

He swallowed her declaration and drew her tighter, ever tighter, against him.

He needed Stella Kidd in his life. He'd always had her in his heart, but now he was ready to acknowledge it. He still had a long way to go to being the kind of man that she deserved, but he wasn't going to wait any longer to show her that he cared for her as much as she did for him.


End file.
